How can Evelyn Salt be so strong inside and outside??
Just watched Salt ,I know it's an old movie but it's super cool lo !!!! Salt is so strong ,the world is so dark ,and it reminds me how weak I'm .
I don't know why I can't just sleep after watching ,most probably because the coffee I drank this evening ( I told myself not to drink ,but it doesn't work ) Then here comes sleepless and emo night.
I really don't know what's wrong with me ,I was so cheerful back in Pontian ,ready anytime and always love people in church. In JGPC everyone is so close ,so easy to talk ,I don't really need to think twice when I speak . But now ,speaking is so hard ,I need to think a lot ,sometimes when I get excited I'll speak something that make people hurt or dislike me ,I'm so scare ,how can I speak something like that ? Just for fun also cannot ,here is uni u know ? How can you just speak whatever you want without double thinking? How can you just smile because you are happy and black face because you are emo regardless of where you are ? People don't like you ,cos they don't understand, but how you actually expect them to understand you or care about you ? You are just course mate to them for three year then you're nothing to.them already ,why should they go and find out the reason you always black face and speak nothing ?
And everyone actually just good to their course mate ,they may seem very nice you you most of the time but when their course mate come they will just go with them ,in HBP is like this ,if you not good with your course mate, you're not good with anyone else. I hate to go apartment stay cos it shows me how's everyone have their own close friend and I'm alone . I may be good and talk to some people and play with them ,but inside my heart I know clearly that we are not even friend ,this not even called friendship .
God ,I hate where I am today ,I hate to see them every day, I hate to meet them outside my room ,I hate to talk to them cos they not going to talk to me ,I hate to stand beside them and listen to what they say cos in my brain I actually think that they want me to go away ,I hate to see them always jio each other in front of me ,I hate to feel that maybe everything is fine ,maybe no one is hating me ,I hate to feel that maybe I should be more active to join them ,I hate here. And I hate to use the word hate ! T.T
I really don't like it ,but I can't pretend anymore ,I close myself inside a box everyday ,I have to be true to myself here ,I'm very fierce and violent ,I can't pretend ,I punch wall when I sad ,I hurt myself when I angry ,I don't like to pretend to be so gentle like a rabbit! Yes,I hate when you say I'm like a rabbit ,I see how fake I'm ! I'm always a tiger inside ,thinking to bite you anytime !
Speak gentle
Smile
Be kind
Care for others
Be more active
So that they like you
But I'll hate you if you do this just to make people like you !
最后补上一句，全世界都追杀Salt, 但她是坏人吗？
不是。
I don't know why I can't just sleep after watching ,most probably because the coffee I drank this evening ( I told myself not to drink ,but it doesn't work ) Then here comes sleepless and emo night.
I really don't know what's wrong with me ,I was so cheerful back in Pontian ,ready anytime and always love people in church. In JGPC everyone is so close ,so easy to talk ,I don't really need to think twice when I speak . But now ,speaking is so hard ,I need to think a lot ,sometimes when I get excited I'll speak something that make people hurt or dislike me ,I'm so scare ,how can I speak something like that ? Just for fun also cannot ,here is uni u know ? How can you just speak whatever you want without double thinking? How can you just smile because you are happy and black face because you are emo regardless of where you are ? People don't like you ,cos they don't understand, but how you actually expect them to understand you or care about you ? You are just course mate to them for three year then you're nothing to.them already ,why should they go and find out the reason you always black face and speak nothing ?
And everyone actually just good to their course mate ,they may seem very nice you you most of the time but when their course mate come they will just go with them ,in HBP is like this ,if you not good with your course mate, you're not good with anyone else. I hate to go apartment stay cos it shows me how's everyone have their own close friend and I'm alone . I may be good and talk to some people and play with them ,but inside my heart I know clearly that we are not even friend ,this not even called friendship .
God ,I hate where I am today ,I hate to see them every day, I hate to meet them outside my room ,I hate to talk to them cos they not going to talk to me ,I hate to stand beside them and listen to what they say cos in my brain I actually think that they want me to go away ,I hate to see them always jio each other in front of me ,I hate to feel that maybe everything is fine ,maybe no one is hating me ,I hate to feel that maybe I should be more active to join them ,I hate here. And I hate to use the word hate ! T.T
I really don't like it ,but I can't pretend anymore ,I close myself inside a box everyday ,I have to be true to myself here ,I'm very fierce and violent ,I can't pretend ,I punch wall when I sad ,I hurt myself when I angry ,I don't like to pretend to be so gentle like a rabbit! Yes,I hate when you say I'm like a rabbit ,I see how fake I'm ! I'm always a tiger inside ,thinking to bite you anytime !
Speak gentle
Smile
Be kind
Care for others
Be more active
So that they like you
But I'll hate you if you do this just to make people like you !
最后补上一句，全世界都追杀Salt, 但她是坏人吗？
不是。
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